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Rules of Chocolate

If you're starting to feel a tad guilty about eating copious amounts of chocolate over the Easter Break, don't worry because I've just discovered the 'Rules of Chocolate'. I'm pretty sure that after you read them, you're going to sleep a whole lot better tonight knowing full well that you haven't 'broken' any of the rules.


RULES OF CHOCOLATE

  • If you've got melted chocolate on your hands, you're eating it too slowly.
  • Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as much as you want.
  • Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less.
  • If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.
  • You are eating a balanced diet if you eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate.
  • Chocolate contains preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger, therefore you need to eat more chocolate.
  • Put 'eat chocolate' at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.
  • A nice box of chocolates can provide your total intake of calories in one place. Now isn't that handy?
  • If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer but if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?
  • If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated. You certainly can't let that happen, can you?

Disclaimer: It amazes me what you find when you're in the middle of cleaning out the Rumpus Room (which is incidentally my craft room). I'm fairly sure this typed A4 list of rules found its way into my hands from a friend at work (several years ago I might add). So I have no idea where it's originally from. It makes for a good laugh though, don't you think?

I hope you enjoyed (or are still enjoying) your Easter Break. I'm going back to have another stint at cleaning, then hopefully I'll be better organised to get some more SWAPS done for Melbourne and maybe a challenge or two!

Comments

Danielle Daws said…
ROFL... that's hilarious!! Another of my favourite chocolate rules is that if you eat someone else's chocolate, it's fine... because that's part of their calorie allowance, not yours. :-)
Richelle said…
ROFLMAO!! That's classic! And love Danielle's explanation for eating someone else's chocolate!
Tinkerbell said…
LOL! Love this Bronwyn!!
Paula Dobson said…
THAT is classic. My SIL is a chocoholic and doesn't need any reasons to eat it, but I am sending this to her anyway, just to confirm what she has known all along!!
Anonymous said…
Jajajajaja good one i love it

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